


20 Rules for Questing through Middle Earth

by AislingKaye, HaloMaiden



Series: 20 Rules [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 08:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislingKaye/pseuds/AislingKaye, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaloMaiden/pseuds/HaloMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty rules applying to any company or fellowship deciding to undertake a quest through Middle Earth</p>
            </blockquote>





	20 Rules for Questing through Middle Earth

**Twenty Rules for Questing through Middle Earth**

 

1)      The leader of the Company/Fellowship must be an angst-ridden, displaced king.

2)      Whether you like it or not, there must always be a pair of young troublemakers present.

3)      A hobbit is essential to any quest if it is to be successful.

4)      And a red-headed axe-wielding dwarf who hates elves.

5)      There must be an archer (or two).

6)      Gollum is not to be trusted. Ever. (The little shit.)

7)      Do not take a mountain pass – under _any_ circumstances.

8)      Do not make fires on hilltops, cliffs, tower-tops, etc. The enemy does have eyes.

9)      Never go to Moria. Balin, we’re talking to you.

10)  No matter the wishes of the company/fellowship, the wizard cannot actually change the weather.

11)  When bored, smoking is the only acceptable pastime.

12)  It is inevitable the Company/Fellowship will separate at some stage. Don’t rush their reunion, it will happen in its own time.

13)  Unfortunately, the Witch-King of Angmar will be a problem whether you like it or not.

14)  As will the spawn of Ungoliant. And orcs. And wargs.

15)  Lady Galadriel always knows best.

16)  A creepy forest will be encountered and entered – deal with it.

17)  There is no such thing as a friendly orc. Or warg.

18)  Hobbits _will_ surprise you – they’re badass.

19)  Gandalf will call you a fool at least once. Don't be offended, he does it to everyone.

20)  Old Toby is an essential provision.


End file.
